How The Story Began....

I wrote when I started this blog that when I felt comfortable I would share how Colton came to be ours. Well, I feel comfortable but I will warn you this is a long one.....
Juan and I went to New Mexico last September to see their cabin for the first time. We went over Labor Day week end and returned mid-week. The odd part of this is that we discussed for weeks about what day we should return, Wednesday or Thursday. We finally decided on Wednesday. That Thursday we got out and ran some errands that we never have time to do since we both work. We took Lucky, our Lab to the vet. Upon returning to our driveway we noticed a girl at our front door. She was an acquaintance that we had not seen in over a year. (I am being vague on some details to protect Birthmom) Now keep in mind that we still could have been in NM AND we are never home mid-week together. She walked to J's truck and made small talk for a few minutes. Finally she says, "I don't know how to say this so I will just be blunt. You know so and so, well she is 5 months pregnant and wants to speak to you two about adopting her baby" I am surprised that neither J or I fell out of the truck.
We did not know what to say. I think J recovered first but I could not tell what he said.
We asked if she was having a healthy pregnancy and the answer was yes. We knew the BM and had been around her in social settings a few times. We knew she was mid-twenties and that she was a single Mom. We were told that she was working two jobs to raise her child. We asked when the baby was due and the friend told us that it was a boy and he was due late December. At this statement J and I just looked at each other in disbelief. Our son, Caden's original due date was December 17th. I am a firm believer that God sometimes speaks to you in circumstances that know one else would understand and this was one of those moments for us. So, we now have that we were home together on this day when this girl knocks on our door and the details of baby's sex and due date. The whole rest of the day J and I walked around just saying "Wow". We have been involved with the adoption world enough to know not to get too excited and understand that this could fall thru at anytime.
We set up a meeting with BM the following week. We sat down discussed the situation and went thru our list of questions and she was very straight forward. She wanted nothing from us except a good home for her baby. Now, three items that came out of this conversation were that she would have terminated the pregnancy but she realized too late. I am not judging, this is just a fact of the story. When she was telling J and I this she said "I don't know why I didn't realize and take care of the situation." I said, "I do".
The second item was the idea of open adoption. Now this was interesting because J and I when researching adoption options steered clear of domestic because most domestics are open these days. It is a personal decision but I didn't want anyone else to be Mommy. When BM brought the open adoption subject up, my first thought was "OK, now she is going to tell me her terms." She said "You know that open adoption thing, I don't want that. No pictures, no letters, nothing." Again, I could have fell on the floor. To my surprise it did not thrill me like I thought.
The third item was BM asked me if I would like to attend her Dr. visits with her. This thrilled J and I because that means there is bonding and there is nothing hidden that we would be blindsided with later. I think this is huge for anyone going thru an adoption that BM allow adoptive parents to be included in the process. Anyway, BM gets her appointment card from her Dr. out of her purse and hands it to me so I can notate the date. J is looking over my shoulder and the Dr's picture is on the card. J says "We know him, he goes to our church!" Again, no way anyone involved could have made this up. I firmly believe it was God with another validation to keep going.
We decided since BM was not crazy about adoption agencies and after what J and I have been thru with China we agreed to proceed with a private adoption with a lawyer. J and I choose a lawyer that we are familiar and started the process.
I attended every Dr's appointment with BM and she scheduled a sonogram just so J and I could see the baby. It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. BM worked two jobs up until a week before Colton was born. I can not say enough about this woman. I lover her and will always consider her family and I will not have a problem if she calls and wants to see Colton when she is ready. How could I deny her? Everyone who loves me warns me to be distant but it is hard. I have had to stay on the maternity floor when you hear everyone else's excitement and baby's cry all day and all night, I have left the hospital empty armed after have gone thru labor and delivery. Whether it is a decision you have made or one that you have no control of....I believe it is one of the hardest things on this earth and that she did it willingly and choose to give this baby a life and two parents a little boy in December that they had lost all hope of having, to say Thank You just does not do this act justice. I could not let her walk out of that hospital alone, I went down and finished some paperwork and walked out that door with her. We hugged and said "I love You" This is how Colton's story began with utmost respect and two woman who understand and love him. Oh, and a great Daddy too...